Creating Space for Calm and Constructive Conversation
As part of Mediation Week 2026, we continue hearing from members of our family mediation team on what mediation looks like in practice and why it can be such a powerful alternative to court.
In our next Q&A, Camilla Hooper, Senior Associate, shares her perspective on the emotional realities people often bring into mediation, particularly at the very start of the process. She explains how mediators help create a safe, structured environment, what clients can expect from their first session and why mediation can be especially valuable where children are involved.
Camilla’s insights focus on helping people move away from conflict and towards workable, future-focused agreements. Her answers reflect a consistent theme running through our Mediation Week series: that mediation offers a more humane, balanced and practical way to resolve family disputes, while keeping control firmly with the people involved.
1. What emotions do people typically feel at the start of family mediation, and is it normal to feel anxious?
It is absolutely normal to feel a degree of anxiety before coming into the mediation process. Mediation is client-led; you decide what you want to discuss, and the mediator helps structure the conversation in a way that feels safe and manageable. It is common for clients to feel a raft of emotions, but the mediator is very much there to support and assist the clients and hopefully clients will find the process much more satisfying and less adversarial than any other legal process.
2. What happens in the first mediation session, and how do you help clients feel supported from the outset?
The process usually starts with a MIAM for each person separately, where I explain how mediation works, explore concerns, and assess whether it’s suitable and safe. If appropriate, we then arrange a joint session and I check in regularly to ensure both of you feel heard, supported, and able to take breaks when needed.
3. Why is mediation often a better option than court when children are involved?
Court timetables can be lengthy and costly, and meanwhile children’s routines and relationships are left uncertain. Mediation, on the other hand, can start immediately; the timing is controlled by the clients, not the court, helping them make workable arrangements quickly and reduce conflict around the children. Generally, the cost is much cheaper than the court process as the mediator’s fees are shared and the clients are in control of how much time they spend with the mediator.
4. How can clients prepare for mediation to give it the best chance of success?
If you are mediating your financial arrangements, ensure your financial circumstances are all in order. The mediator will often ask you to prepare a Form E, a financial disclosure form; and there may also be valuations you need to obtain, such as a property or pension valuation. The more of this that is done in in advance, the more effective your use of time will be in the mediation sessions.
If you are mediating the arrangements for your children, think about the practicalities of the proposals you are making to the parent of your child. You may think that you want a certain arrangement but are the logistics going to work in practice. Only you know your family, but careful consideration needs to be given, and at all times you must remember what is appropriate is what is in the best interests of the children.
5. How does mediation help people move away from conflict and towards constructive agreement?
Mediation gives you a structured, neutral space to talk through the arrangements for your children and financial matters without the pressure of a court process. Often in litigation, one can feel like there is the pressure to win. The mediator helps keep discussions calm and focused on practical future solutions, for example, how to improve communication and instil routines, and make decisions that work for the entire family.
6. What emotional benefits does mediation offer compared to going through court proceedings?
Mediation is a private and collaborative space which can reduce stress, fear, and the feeling of being judged. Many people also find it helps them feel heard and more in control, which can make it easier to move on and co-parent with less ongoing tension. The mediator is working for both of you, unlike the court process where each lawyer acts in their own client’s interests which can become adversarial. Such a process can heighten tensions and lead to fraught correspondence and court preparations.
7. What would you say to someone who is unsure whether mediation will work for them?
There is no obligation on anyone to attend mediation; it is an entirely voluntary process. If there are feelings of uncertainty, the MIAM suitability meeting will assist you to explore those uncertainties directly with the mediator who will hopefully put your mind at rest. Some clients come to mediation concerned that if an agreement is reached in mediation, it will be held against them if discussions unravel and future court proceedings are necessary. However, conversations are entirely without prejudice (with limited exceptions such as safeguarding issues) and therefore clients can partake in open discussions without fear of consequence.
Speak to our mediation team
If you are separating and want a calmer, more constructive way to resolve arrangements for your children or finances, mediation may be a helpful place to start.
Our family mediation team is experienced in supporting individuals and families through difficult transitions with care, clarity and discretion. To discuss whether mediation could be suitable for you, please get in touch with us at enquiries@lauruslaw.co.uk or call 020 3146 6300.
You do not have to navigate this alone, and taking early advice can make a meaningful difference to how matters progress.
