“Am I really married?” The legal concept most misunderstood by the public

“We’ve lived together for years. Aren’t we married in the eyes of the law?” It is a question we hear often, and it is completely understandable. When you have built a life with someone, sharing a home, raising children, and making joint decisions, it is only natural to assume that the law sees you as a couple. But the truth is far starker.

The myth of the “common law marriage”

Despite being one of the most widely believed assumptions in England and Wales, common law marriage does not exist. Living together, no matter for how long, does not give you the same legal rights as being married or in a civil partnership.

This misunderstanding often comes to light at deeply emotional times. A separation or bereavement is when people expect to be protected. Sadly, that legal protection is not there, and it can leave one partner with no rights to property, income, or even the home in which they live.

Why this matters more than people realise

In the eyes of the law, cohabiting couples are considered two separate individuals. Unless you have taken specific steps, like jointly owning property, making Wills, or formalising agreements, you may have no automatic claim on your partner’s assets. This applies regardless of how long you have been together or whether you have raised children.

Take Sam and Alex, who lived together for 14 years. When Alex passed away suddenly, Sam assumed they would inherit the house they shared. But the property was in Alex’s name only. Without a Will, and with no legal status as a spouse or civil partner, Sam had no automatic right to stay in the home. Let alone inherit it.

Without a Will, Alex’s estate will be distributed under the Rules of Intestacy, which are statutory rules which stipulate the order in which the estate passes to surviving relatives, usually a spouse or civil partner, children, parents, siblings, wider relatives and in the absence of any the estate passes to the Crown.

At a time of enormous grief, Sam had to embark on complex litigation, on the basis that the distribution of Alex’s estate did not make reasonable provision for Sam. A claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependents) Act 1975 could put someone in Sam’s position up against Alex’s parents, siblings, a child of Alex’s or even a former partner of Alex if Alex’s child with that former partner is a minor

It was a painful wake-up call, one that could have been avoided with some simple planning.

When cohabiting relationships end

There is no legal process for cohabitees to follow when separating. Unlike divorcing couples, cohabitees cannot apply to the family court for financial orders such as maintenance or a fair division of assets for themselves. The only remedies available are under property or trust law, which are complex, expensive, and rarely sympathetic to the emotional and practical realities of a long-term relationship.

Where children are involved, the court can step in to ensure their welfare. However, this is focused on child maintenance and capital provision for the child, primarily housing, but not provision for the other parent. There is no entitlement to spousal support, pension sharing, or ongoing financial assistance for the adult partner, no matter how long the relationship lasted.

As family lawyers, we often advise clients who assumed “it would all be sorted out fairly” only to discover they have no legal footing to make a claim. This legal gap can lead to real hardship, especially for the financially weaker partner and is one of the reasons we advocate for legal clarity from the outset.

How family law can help protect your future

You do not have to be married to make fair and practical legal arrangements. Family law can support cohabiting couples to make informed decisions through:

• cohabitation agreements that set out how finances and property will be managed during the relationship and what happens if it ends,
• declarations of trust to clarify ownership of shared property,
• advice on parental responsibility to ensure unmarried parents understand their rights and obligations towards their children,
• support during separation where housing, children, and shared assets need to be resolved fairly.

These measures help couples plan for the future and protect each other from uncertainty.

Expert insight from Abigail Bird, Head of Legacy

Abigail Bird, Partner and Head of our Legacy team, regularly sees the consequences of these legal misconceptions, especially when one partner dies without a Will.

“It is a deeply upsetting reality for many bereaved partners,” Abigail explains. “Unless there’s a valid Will, cohabitees have no automatic right to inherit under the Rules of Intestacy, even if they have spent decades building a life together.”

“We strongly encourage cohabiting couples to put Wills and Lasting Powers of Attorney in place. These are not just documents. They are essential protections that allow you to provide for each other and retain control, should one of you lose mental capacity or pass away.”

Everyone should complete and review declaration of wishes forms for pensions and other policies, including death in service benefits, otherwise trustees may default to blood relatives if there are no clear nominations or supporting documents in place.

How Laurus can help

At Laurus, we bring together expertise in both family law and estate planning, offering holistic advice that protects couples and families through all stages of life. Our team includes specialists like Jacqueline Fitzgerald, whose experience spans complex, high-value family matters, and Abigail Bird, who helps clients plan confidently for the future through Wills, trusts, and LPAs.

We do not just help when things go wrong. We are here to support you in making calm, informed decisions that avoid unnecessary stress later on and so that you know your loved ones are protected.

And what if your marriage is not legally recognised?

This article focuses on cohabiting couples, but it is important to note that not every ceremony results in a legally valid marriage. Religious-only ceremonies, for example, may not create a marriage recognised under English law. In a future article, we will explore nullity and the legal routes for ending a marriage or declaring it invalid, including circumstances where no legal marriage ever existed.

If you are unsure about your legal status or want to put proper protections in place, our team at Laurus is here to help. We offer clear, practical advice tailored to your situation because peace of mind starts with understanding where you stand.

Jacqueline Fitzgerald is a Partner at Laurus and a highly experienced family lawyer with over 25 years of experience. She specialises in various areas of family law, including divorce, child arrangements, and financial settlements. Jacqueline is known for her empathetic approach and commitment to achieving the best outcomes for her clients. You can reach Jacqueline on 020 3146 6300 or email jacqueline.fitzgerald@lauruslaw.co.uk